Father upset with terms on school’s sexual education poster

Warning: This story contains terms that some may find offensive or inappropriate, reader and viewer discretion is recommended.

SHAWNEE, Kan. -- A father said if his 13-year-old daughter hadn't taken a picture of a questionable public poster and shown him, he'd never have known the content. Now that he knows, he's not happy.

Mark Ellis says his daughter goes to Hocker Grove Middle School in the Shawnee Mission School District. She was so shocked by what she recently saw on a poster at school, that she took a picture of it home and showed her parents.

Her dad initially assumed it was a student prank, until he called the school and found  it was part of the curriculum.

"Why would you put it in front of 13-year-old students?" he asked.

He thought the poster, which lists things like “oral sex” and "grinding," might've been a prank until he contacted the school principal. He was told it was a teaching material. But Ellis is now concerned that what's on this poster is being taught to his daughter in school

"It upsets me. And again, it goes back to who approved this? You know this had to pass through enough hands that someone should have said, ‘Wait a minute, these are 13-year-old kids, we do not need to be this in-depth with this sexual education type of program,'” he said.

District spokeswoman, Leigh Anne Neal, says the poster needs to be viewed in the context of a bigger curriculum, which she calls abstinence-based for students in middle school.

"The poster that you reference is actually part of our middle school health and science materials, and so it is a part of our district approved curriculum," Neal said. "However the item is meant to be part of a lesson, and so certainly as a standalone poster without the context of a teacher-led discussion, I could see that there might be some cause for concern."

She said that the approved curriculum is in line with what other schools around the country do as well.

"The curriculum it is a part of, it aligns with national standards around those topics, and it's part of our curriculum in the school district," she said.

But Ellis thinks if that's the case, the curriculum needs to change.

"This has nothing to do with abstinence or sexual reproduction," he said. "I would like to see that this particular portion of the curriculum is removed from the school."

And if the curriculum doesn't change, Ellis plans to remove his daughter from the sexual education classes.

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  • pcanon

    I believe they do not mention that this is a part of Common Core. We have no one to blame for this but our leaders – and ourselves for being so stupidly willing to be led by such people. There is no way in any context they can make this appropriate. It is part of an elite agenda and shows that we should regard them with the revulsion they deserve.

  • michael

    mark ellis i comment you for speaking out against this system… im sorry that the comments below are so supportive of the government taking over your family life and telling you how to raise your children… the poster doesn’t say how to curb your urges, how to treat them in another way… if just gives a list on how a teenager can get off… absolutely disgusting how many people support a communist government that pushes sex on our children rather than send out notifications to parents to encourage talking to your children……….. a woman said teen pregnancy is down lmaooo… look up a stat or two on abortion rates and teen mothers, welcome to the brave new world

  • Allyssa

    I think we should all remember here, we are talking about 13 year olds. Year olds who were just 12 years old talking about not having sex. That’s outrageous that 13 year olds are even thinking about having sex.

  • heidi

    Dad is perhaps in need of some sex ed. To young you say? I have seen 14 yr olds delivering babies….yes, and not in a ghetto hospital but an affluent one. If parents don’t teach sex ed to their children, the school must. This includes terminology that dad is uncomfortable with.

  • Mark

    When I was in Junior High (many years ago), there was a 13 year old girl who was pregnant. We all knew what anal sex was at 13 years old, and (evidently) some of the kids were sexually active. The average age at which kids are having sex is becoming younger and younger. And, unfortunately, parents don’t want to believe that their pre-teens already know a lot about sex and young teens are already experimenting with it. If the parents don’t teach it, the schools should.

  • Terry Roberts

    you are wrong, because at thirteen a lot of them are ready to have sex. Now them being in the system, heading towards high school, etc. it is a good thing for them to know. I know back in the day there were several girls who thought it was hot to go park with a high school boy and many a girl lost their virginity at 13 and 14.

  • Sara

    It might be outrageous but it’s also happening. I had sex education over 20 years ago. it’s a little more graphic but not much. What’s the problem? Teen pregnancies are down–and not because parents are talking to their kids about sex. Kids talk to each other, not their parents.

  • Dexter Morgan

    It’s a pretty sick culture when adults are arguing that kids should be taught about sex at younger and younger ages. It is not the school’s job to teach kids about these activities. It’s the parents job. If I found out that a virtual stranger was teaching my kids about sexual terms they have no business knowing about at their age, I’d have him strapped to my table. The Dark Passenger has needs, too…

  • Kim

    I totally agree with you!! My daughter is in elementary school (4th grade) and her school asked permission for her to be taught about ‘safe touch’. I would be irate if this poster was in her school!! Being taught about puberty and birth control is one thing–different sexual activities is another. I agree with ‘Dad’.

  • Mike

    Some of the logic being used be so called enlightened people is absurd. The best way to test a theory is to apply it to other situations. Yes there are 13 year old’s who engage in this type of behavior. There are also 13 year old’s who use drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. Should we now be teaching them how to roll their own joints or score a hit somewhere? Here child let me show you the safest way to use that needle cause I know you are gonna do it anyway.

    Teaching someone how to do something properly at an age that it is socially unhealthy to engage in is legitimizing the activity and normalizing it. People are sheep and if they feel an activity is acceptable they are more likely to engage in it. After all look at all of the stupid fashion trends and hairstyles that have come and gone. People want to fit in and be accepted. If you are teaching children that their peers are doing something, they themselves will feel more compelled to do that in order to be part of the group.

    Some of the comments here prove how simplistic the thinking in America has gotten.

  • jane

    What the real problem is are the parents! Do you really think your kids don’t already know what some of these things are? Some of your kids have even done these things! Do you also have any idea how many teenagers get pregnant every year? While some parents sit at home and say “Don’t have sex until you are married” there are those of us who live in the real world and know that this stuff needs to be taught and if you are mad that the school is doing it before you did it then you are a little behind! You are right these kids are 13 I could go in to detail about what the kids I went to school with were doing at 13 but its not at all appropriate.

  • Hahahaha

    I’m happy that homeschool is gaining popularity – naive homeschooled kids are by far the easiest to bed when they make it to college.

    Sheltering your children does them a disservice and I am genuinely glad that you don’t recognize that.

  • Bob

    You bible thumpers crack me up.

    My kids had to bring a consent form for the parents to sign and return. Maybe more parents should actually read it and take interest in their kids’ school instead of burying their heads in the sand.

  • acoluthus

    did the teacher cover the -repercussions- / results of these activities?
    were STD’s covered?
    did he encourage boys & girls to have the strength to say ‘no’?
    did he cover the legal side, since you’re all under age?
    was the topic of rape & force covered?
    it’s a -serious- topic, not a ‘fun’ one.

  • Mike

    I am not quite understanding you… Yes it is the parents who should be teaching this. There is more publicly funded sex ed than ever before, and even more underage kids engaging in sex. Show me how the sex ed is stopping this… My parents opted me out of sex ed in middle school and high school. I was protected from this stupidity and didn’t have sex until after high school.

    You do not understand how human behavior is manipulated. Teachers are presented as an authority and their teaching signals that it is acceptable to engage in this behavior. IT is really simple. Tell your kids that if they do certain things there are possible negative consequences. It doesn’t require extensive classes to teach that. Yes for the last time we all know that some kids will do these things at young ages. That is not a sound argument for approving this sort of teaching.

    Here is my poster…

    Ways kids have a good time!

    Cheating on tests
    Skipping class
    Shop lifting

  • Cathy

    SAFE!! This sounds dangerous!! & it IS !! 13 yikes. What is wrong with our school system & y is it up to them to ‘teach,’ this!! No no no…… abstinence is the ONLY thing they should teach…..

  • Alex

    You really think that school is a safe place to learn this? Absolutely there should be sex-ed in the life of every child, but it should NEVER be outsourced to the public school system. That is solely the responsibility of the parents. Parents are so afraid to have the “sex talk” with their kids that they are willing to let them just find out on their own, in the wrong way, through experiences at school.

    Since when should the public school system do what is the responsibility of the parent. Sadly not nearly enough parents care what is being taught to their children and are not actively involved.

  • Carl P.

    It’s not about what children at that age have already heard on the streets or from their friends. It’s about the School District taking liberty to teach MY children things in school that, in my opinion, they should only be taught by their PARENTS at home!
    Maybe I don’t want my children to learn sexuality in school! Maybe I have plans to teach them about it in my own way. Maybe I have religious reasons. Maybe I feel that I have a better way of explaining it. Maybe, in my opinion, MY children aren’t ready to learn that yet!
    Whatever the reason, I send my children to school to learn how to read, write, do arithmetic and learn science and history….NOT SEX! THAT is NONE of any school districts business! THAT is between me and MY child! And public school is NOT the place they should learn it!
    If they want to teach the reproductive system in science class, that’s fine. If they want to teach about the hows and why’s to have sex, they are completely out of their jurisdiction!

  • Rich

    You might want to do some research and rethink your position. “Abstinence only” programs have the worst record of all sex ed programs for preventing the children from having sex. The best results come from comprehensive programs that give the kids ALL of the facts without bias, and let them make up their own mind. The children, statistically, put off sex until much older than other programs.

    “Abstinence only” programs tend to have no effect on the children’s sex life at all. I found only ONE that had good results. This program took ALL of the moral judgments about sex out of the curriculum. But its results were as good as any other program. Many kids won’t respond to “God said it was wrong.” Some will start having sex just because of a statement like that. They will see it as a challenge.

    When it comes to abstinence, only parents really have a good chance of being a positive influence, and they need to use it. They need to be the ones teaching the importance of abstinence. You, and your children, will be better off if the schools stay out morality and stick to facts.

  • Rich

    You might want to do some research and rethink your position. “Abstinence only” programs have the worst record of all sex ed programs for preventing the children from having sex. The best results come from comprehensive programs that give the kids ALL of the facts without bias, and let them make up their own mind. The children, statistically, put off sex until much older than other programs.

    “Abstinence only” programs tend to have no effect on the children’s sex life at all. I found only ONE that had good results. This program took ALL of the moral judgments about sex out of the curriculum. But its results were as good as any other program. Many kids won’t respond to “God said it was wrong.” Some will start having sex just because of a statement like that. They will see it as a challenge.

    When it comes to abstinence, only parents really have a good chance of being a positive influence, and they need to use it. They need to be the ones teaching the importance of abstinence. You, and your children, will be better off if the schools stay out morality and stick to facts.

  • Leanne Watts

    I agree! This should be taught by parents – NOT the schools! Parents know their kids best and what and when they can handle certain topics. The lady said it shouldn’t have been left up after the lesson… I say it shouldn’t have been used at all!!!

  • Rich

    Dufrain, no eleven or twelve year old child is ready for sex. I don’t believe that anyone here thinks they are. That does not mean, however, that eleven and twelve year old children are not having sex. If you look into the subject at all, you will quickly find out that some are. In most cases, unknown to the parent. Years ago, I read a letter online. The mother had written in because her daughter had just turned fourteen. Therefore the mother thought it was time she discussed sex with her daughter. The mother was shocked to find out that her precious baby had been enjoying sex for two years already. It happens.

    I believe the best way to protect your child is to give them all of the facts and trust them to make the right decision when the time comes. Of course, tell them what you think and believe as well, but make sure they have the facts. I personally think that kids should know about birth control and condoms. And, if one of my children had asked me to get it for them, I would have. Bringing sex into a relationship provides enough problems for teens, let alone pre-teens, without the danger, or reality of, having a baby too.

  • cindy

    for one no not all kids know that much at 13 some adults still take the time to monitor their kids and give them a childhood, not everyone in the country lives an anything goes live style not everyone is raising ghetto rats

  • Dll

    I agree some of these words are not appropriate for middle school. Maybe for high school. Just because kids may be using these words or know what they mean doesn’t mean that it should be part of the school curriculum.

  • Father of three pre-teens

    Stacy, you must not have kids. This is inappropriate for younger kids, because they do not have the wherewithal of determining what is in context or not. This is especially concerning that the parents are unaware of what is or isn’t being taught in the classroom.

  • Lori McLiberty

    How about it come from the responsible parent not the Federally run schools!!!!! I know for a fact,growing up in the time I did this would never ever be an issue!!!I find it disgusting the power schools have now a days!!! I teach my children values,character and at most integrity!!!!

  • enness

    First of all, did you not understand by reading the story above that the daughter herself was perturbed enough to take the picture and show it to him? I was 13 not *so* terribly long ago, and I can’t even imagine this being put up in my school.

    Second, are people really incapable of conceiving of any middle ground between “teacher shows child explicit material” and “parent keeps child locked in closet for 18 years”? No. The point is that he wants to be able to introduce it himself, in his time, with his family’s values attached. We should be encouraging all parents to be so conscientious, not whining that they aren’t doing it therefore we have to push these topics on them in school.

  • Momma

    I wanted nothing and mean nothing to do with boys at 13. I didn’t give myself away til 19 and I plan on raising my babies to be innocent too. Anyone got a problem with that tough at least I’m paying attention to my kids unlike man who think this is ok. When they ask or when they are 15 16 then yes I will talk to them.

  • Stormy

    Who in the hell let’s their 13 year old go to parties like that anyways!?!

    It’s called “Being a Parent”!!!

    I can not believe what I am reading as far as 13 yr olds having sex!!!

    My daughter is almost 12 and doesn’t want anything to do with boys!

    Be a parent, love and cherish your child! Give them attention so they don’t go out looking for it!

  • Nicole

    Listen man, that’s disgusting and NO 13 year old should be at a party that is co-ed without adult supervision. The schools need to check themselves and stop just saying “here’s a condom”. Actually educate. Also, whatever ignorant person put this list together shouldn’t be a part of any curriculum formation. It goes from kissing to oral sex to hugging, as they are the same. ugh.

  • Mom2

    I agree that my children should be fully educated — by ME! Not by someone I barely know, someone who won’t have to clean up whatever mess is left if my children choose to experiment.

  • chynadoll2276@hotmail.com

    Cindy, although I agreed with the fact that some people are raising children to be exposed to age-appropriate things, the last part of your comment was disrespectful and unnecessary. So many people just throw around the word “ghetto” and have no idea exactly what it means.

  • moose

    Actually Cindy is one hundred percent right and if you are offended by the t3rm “ghetto” then you must be offiliated with it and did nothing to better your situation people that live in the “ghetto” or “bad” areas that are actually doing everything they can don’t take offense to this people however that are just sitting around mooching off of the system taking handouts and living off of the hard earned money of everyone else those people take offense to that so if you don’t like it take a look at yourself and shut the hell up this is our children out country’s future and people that just let there kids do whatever and don’t monitor what’s going on in there lives are the people that are going to be the reason for our country’s failure

  • Carol Williams

    I’m scared that a number of the home schooled are sexually or otherwise abused at home, and are kept their so they can’t tell anyone. Does anyone check-up on the home schooled?

  • Tom McKenna

    “They are shown “the video” in sixth grade (at least I was), and that was 15 years ago for me. A lot has changed in 15 years”.

    Yes it has, maybe that’s the problem, what’s it going to be like in another 15 yrs. ?

  • Stormy

    You apparently do not have children… My daughter is almost 12 and does not know what anything past “sex” as “to reproduce” is!!! She goes to a private school, and this is one reason why. … Also, she does NOT watch “16 & Pregnant” or any other trash show on tv. … We are raising our daughter to become a lady.

    I work hard to keep her away from people, situations and tv shows that she does not need to be around/watch. This poster, and people that approved it are part of what’s wrong with our country!

  • mommy of 3

    Carl I would bet you wouldn’t mind if the school taught the kids about religion and how to pray? I’m guessing not. But sex!!!! No it is against your rights! Whatever.
    People who send their kids to public school know they can at anytime view what is going to be taught. The father should have pulled himself off of his computer and got involved in his daughters education. He could have opted out of this. Anyone knows this. But I think that clearing shows how little this father is involved with his kids education and life.

  • Marci

    Momma you are in trouble if you really believe what you are saying. Times have changed since you were a kid. You can preach to your children everything that you want them to know but they are going to do what they want. It is better to educate them now than later.

  • CallMeAnn

    I promise, that if the daughter felt free to show the pic to her dad, there is an ongoing conversation at home. What part of the story makes it sound like the teacher is of the same belief? And as for this being justified by the fact that it is consistent with national standards, how can you put up those character building motivational posters about standing for what is right in the face of others who are doing wrong (aka; resisting peer pressure) if the school is going to brush off criticism by saying ‘All the other schools do it”?

  • Phesten

    So, we should prepare our children for the world by highlighting and discussing every degrading and morally offensive act some (not all) teens are involved in. And in the process let’s make sure that all those kids who AREN’T involved in such acts have their minds thoroughly saturated in such filth, as well as over-ride any parental concern or preference as to how their children are raised. Yes, that’s a fine idea. …Why waste time focusing on those things that might actually steer kids into being productive, and upstanding young people, or giving them standards and models they might find aspirational? Nah, let’s focus on what is base and puts them at risk of early pregnancies, disease, emotional confusion, abuse, ridicule, and all that other good stuff that happens when children abuse themselves. Yes. A wonderful idea. (And this is reason #3,095 why I choose to homeschool my kids.)

  • enness

    I respect some of your points, but I don’t think there can be an open dialogue if the school does not bother to inform the parent about what is being taught. One child took a picture, brought it home, and showed it to dad — how many of them did not say a thing?

  • Lacy LaPlante

    I totally agree with you! You don’t have to go into graphic detail, but parents should talk to there children at an even younger age, about their bodies, what people can and cannot do to you, how to say no, what to do if anyone touches them anyplace that makes them uncomfortable…and by doing this, yes it’s way to protect them from sexual preditors, but it also opens the door for “the talk”. Only give them the basics at this point. You know your child and what they can handle. Then, either or child comes to you with questions it you bring it up every so often and add a little bit more information, until you feel you’ve covered everything. However, these days, your kids are going to out-knowledge you by the time they are 12 to 14. And I guess if you’re not one to do these types of things , then I would hope they would learn it from school rather that the alternative, real life.

    Granted, this is just my view. And everyone is entitled to their own views. Some people just need some present-day, real life experience if they want to keep their kids safe, without grandbabies, std’s, and so on. Ignorance is not the answer people!!

  • Gordon Kuhne

    Your so right Phesten, This is straight out of ” Common Core” , which is nothing but marxist propaganda. Im afraid it’s in almost every school now. Home school is the only way out of it.

  • enness

    Hello Rich,

    “You may not like it or agree with it, but schools need to teach kids about preventing disease during various forms of sex. And in spite of what you may think, the better job the school does of that, the longer your child will put off having sex. That has shown statistically. Schools should not be teaching abstinence only programs, they are almost always found to not work. The results are usually the same or worse than no sex ed at all. It is up to the parents to teach the children why waiting for marriage is important.”

    I am glad we agree on that as a value. So does the CDC, actually. I personally do not see why this has to done in school when a trip to the CDC’s website is as informative as it is. I would like to see a citation of that statistical evidence, if you have it handy; my understanding is that the major studies done show that kids actually are more likely to listen to their parents than they may let on. I disagree with you totally about abstinence programs, and will explain why in a minute…

    “If you cannot provide your children with good, convincing reasons to wait. then don’t expect them to. “Because it’s the right thing to do” is NOT a valid reason in a child’s mind. It’s kind of like telling them “because I said so.” You’re just telling the child that that you want it that way, but don’t have a valid reason.”

    If what you have just described is the way abstinence programs are actually run, then I can see why they fail. The problem is that this is not the only way and definitely not the best way to run them. If the best way has not been tried, you can’t write the concept off as a failure. Also, unfortunately, we do need to look at who conducted the studies and what their motivations might be, where the funding comes from, etc. I do not share results of studies that agree with me when I know someone will just say, “Look at who paid for it.”

    “BTW, when I was young, I also knew many kids who started having sex at 14 and under. Many came from religious families who thought “My child would never do that.” They even had their children enrolled in their church’s school to teach them better.”

    I would never tell anybody to abdicate their responsibility to the school, any school, even a ‘religious’ one. In some places, that is flat-out meaningless and they can’t be trusted. Sad but true.

  • enness

    Hi Lacy,
    I agree, but I think there’s even another way to start with very young kids without even needing to talk about physical stuff. Check out the Marshmallow Experiment. When they followed up with the kids from that experiment later in life, the ones who were able to delay gratification were doing better in all kinds of life outcomes. They also figured out that kids could be helped by teaching them strategies or techniques for holding out until the 15 minutes (which seems like an eternity to a little kid with a tempting sweet in front of him) was up.

  • Terry

    I commend this man! This indicates to me he is, in fact, paying attention. Perhaps you should get off your computer and go see what your three children are doing right now. God help them because obviously you aren’t.

  • Rich

    enness, I don’t have the statistics handy anymore. I did a sociology paper on this about two years ago for a college course. Almost every published, peer reviewed study showed that “abstinence only” programs had no beneficial effect on when children started having sex. I say almost, because I did find exactly ONE program that posted results similar to the best comprehensive programs. It was a program that purposely removed ALL moral judgments from the act of sex. Which is exactly what most “abstinence only” programs are about.

  • Rich

    Stormy, no parent “allows” their child to go to parties like that. The child asks if they can “go to Susan’s house after school?” Since Susan’s family goes to the same church you do, you say okay. But Susan’s parents both work and so this is what happens at Susan’s house. In part, this happens because no one explained why they shouldn’t have sex, just told them it is what adults do or what married people do.

    But since most young people want to act like adults, at least in things perceived as fun, they start fooling around. They start off with kissing games, truth or dare, etc. and it progresses to sex. After all, it feels good and no one told them they could get a incurable disease from it. After all, they’re only kids, they don’t need to know about sex yet. Only, they are having sex already, while mom and dad say “My kids would never do that. They know better.”

  • fyrantx

    really? Teaching abstinence has the worst record? What are you basing this off of? And exactly how is abstinence being taught to come up with this so-called ‘worst record’? I think you’re full of it.

  • Coco Lax

    Great comment “stormy”. I applaud you for raising your daughter to be a lady and that is how girls should be raised. Too many girls today are not being raised in this manner.

    I see 20-somethings girls come into our work with terrible character traits and it is disturbing. They have terrible language, they’re loud without shame, and have strange behavioural tendencies that I would not want my son dating them

  • Sara

    I don’t think the bible in the classroom is any kind of solution. That’s just a religious perspective–a lot of kids don’t even follow that religious belief.. Teen pregnancies are down. Something’s working. If it was up to the protective parents we’d still have secret abortions killing kids in back alleys. If you were talking to your kids early enough they would already know what they are being taught in public schools.

  • Rich

    Jim, where did Dale say passing around young girls for sex at parties was ok? Acknowledging that something is really happening is not necessarily the same as giving approval of that activity.

  • Leah Rocha

    Most people who homeschool their kids are not the abusers you are worrying about. Believe me! It takes a lot of guts, patience and perseverance to have your kids at home with you at all times and to teach them the things they need to learn in life. It is not for the weak at heart. You will find abuse in either camp, but to think that is the major push behind homeschooling families is SO incorrect.

  • David

    I am betting that most who are posting hysterically against this let their kids watch cable, satellite, TV. movies, video games, internet, etc unsupervised. How silly to think even your grade school kids don’t know about sexual practices and acts. They likely fall asleep many nights to the sound of it with the electronic equipment left on. They just know the exploitive viewpoints and religious dogma part. Not basic biology and human emotion. Hence the rise in STDs and pregnancies where sex is not taught well.

  • Rich

    Anna J, that is exactly what most of the teen parents I knew were told. They were all good kids who went to church every week. They had religious parents who tried to do a good job raising their kids right. The kids ended up pregnant anyway.

    Kids will experiment. When they do, they need to know how to prevent pregnancy as well as STDs. Unfortunately, most parents in the abstinence camp think “my kids don’t need to know that yet”. It can be a real shock to find out your child who “would never do that” is pregnant or has an STD.

  • Giuliana

    Anna J you’re living in a fantasy world. It would be lovely if the world operated according to social ideals, but clearly it does not. So inform your children or leave them ignorant. But the latter is when they’ll get into trouble.

  • Giuliana

    What a pity it is, Susan Ally, that you made such a strong sweeping and generalized statement about a privilege granted to us in this great Republic. You have given yet more evidence that some Americans are a bit spoiled and that some have no idea how the rest of the world lives. Pity.

  • alexandria

    My father and mother had five daughters and supported a comprehensive sex ed program at school and at home. All of us finished college and graduate school before we were married and all of us waited until after high school to become sexually active (three of us waited until marriage). We were brought up knowing the terms, both the proper biological ones and the slang, as well as the various ways to use contraception effectively in case we made the decision to have sex. Our parents wanted us protected from the world and ourselves and they figured the way to do that was information. More than that, though, was the trust they showed for us. Dads that bond with their daughters and teach her through their actions that they respect women are more likely to have daughters who wait. But it’s more than that. If a girl has a dad who teaches her to make good decisions about all things (and talks through those decisions with her) then shows her that he trusts her decision making, she is much, much less likely to be sexually active early.
    And of course, girls who are not molested are less likely to be sexually active at an early age. The sheer numbers of girls who have been would probably shock you.

    I’ve taught for 25 years, first at the public school level and now at the university level. My husband and I also reared two boys and a girl. My kids waited. They were given age-appropriate information in an ongoing manner starting from when they first began to ask questions. We have watched as their peers as young as 10 and 11 have gotten pregnant. They have seen those lives fall apart. They also set strong goals for themselves (college, career, marriage, family) that helped them make good decisions (also an ongoing conversation).

    Don’t shield your kids from the outside world. Help them learn how to navigate it.

  • mark

    Look people I am gonna be straight with you. The last time I checked, when my daughter was young, the AVERAGE age at which a girl lost the big V was 11. If you as parents have not talked to them before then someone dang well needs to.

  • Giuliana

    Mike, I have taught sex Ed. Showing how to have sex or give head was not part of the curriculum. Get real. No one is “teaching” your child how to have sex, except maybe the kid down the street, the priest or pastor at your church, or perhaps the “family friend” you all trust. Or, even worse…. This statement is ludicrous

  • Giuliana

    oh my! “filth?” “Morally offensive?” “Degrading?” are you serious?!
    It’s sex! it’s not any of the aforementioned things unless it’s non-consensual, or incest, et cetera.

    Your bed must be super exciting! These views on sex suggest to me that, for you, sex is associated with shame. Or that the sexual thoughts you have are deviant. It is sex we are talking about, is it not?

    It is pure biology that humans have these desires. From a biological viewpoint, we have one purpose on Earth–to reproduce.

    Phesten, to say that oral sex is “morally offensive” made me literally laugh. Just own it, parents, your little darlings are human. Or are they?

  • John

    Here is the thing, if parents are doing their job , talking to their kids about sex, drugs, drinking and other behaviors, then a 12, 13 year should already know about this type of thing. Talking with your children and having a open relationship with them will prevent them and you from being surprised with a harmless poster. It helps to be involved with the child’s school also, like going to parent teacher conferences,school activities (sports,plays). Then you are ware of whats going on on the school. Man up dad

  • Lorraine O'Dowd

    I respectfully disagree. Not all 13 year olds are wordly, and some, like my son, are still 12 while in 7th grade. He has been blissfully innocent about much of these ‘extra’ and ‘unnecessary’ sexual abutments until recently, when, much to my chagrin, I had to explain something to him. He has since then been much distressed and sees sex as repulsive. The same happened with my teenage daughter who is now a young adult. She, like him, wasn’t ready and now considers herself asexual. The whole idea of sex with this ‘too much information’ has harmed my children. Any ideas? And as for me, most of this type of curriculum is disgusting. I don’t do it. I never intend to. It is sexual deviancy in some cases, and goes against my beliefs. And my children, without ever knowing the reasons why, or the religious reasons, have their God given grace to recognize that some things are not quite right….. that some things go beyond decency…… and that some things are too embarrassing to discuss, contemplate, or ever involve themselves in. They have morals, as do I. And my morals always existed before they were ever spoken by anyone outside of me. They are God given.

  • Katherine O'Neal Duran

    You have got to be kidding. Man up? Let’s face it. Some things just AREN’T right, no matter what some people would like to extol as “natural.” That blissfully unaware, uninitiated, children “naturally” feel that some types of sex is repulsive should be an indicator for you…it is “unnatural.” Purposely excluding parents and denying them the option to expose their children to this teaching is wrong. This is a delicate matter that many parents are simply unable to broach, and a school function…away from the classroom where parents can decide whether or not to accompany the child…is appropriate. In any case, this poster lists images that are purely pornographic. Would you show this list to grandma? This isn’t appropriate language for polite adults of any age. Harmless? Maintaining a perception of authority is a trust parents grant to educators. For the school to abuse that trust and serve this list up as if all adults practice, speak or behave in this manner is tantamount to child abuse.

  • alexandria

    Respectfully, no one’s morals are developed without socialization. Yes, a religious community has a lot to do with how your values and morals are shaped but those morals aren’t present at birth. If they were, your job as a parent wouldn’t be as important. What you’re basically saying, probably without intent, is that you are better than others because no matter what socialization you had gotten (or your kids, for that matter), you would always be morally upright. But, you see, that’s disingenuous. The reason we have problems in society is because so many parents have abdicated their roles as teachers and shapers of their children’s values. Kids aren’t born bad; they are made that way by the choices they are given. You obviously take your role seriously and I’ll bet you have nice kids. The problem is that so many parents do not that schools have to give kids information to help them be safe. Our kids got that information from us before they were told at school. They still chose to wait. They weren’t traumatized because we were open about this subject from the time they were old enough to ask questions. They got age-appropriate information. Yes, middle school kids are doing things we all wish they weren’t. I wanted my kids to understand the import of the slang being used so they were able to know what to ignore and what to come home to discuss. They are adults now, two in medicine (trauma surgery and a pediatrician) and one is working professional musician. We had no pregnancies, no venereal diseases, and our kids understood that sex of any sort had consequences. Two are married and we have grandkids on the way. Education, marriage, family: we think we got it in the right order with our choices. For kids of parents who don’t think about their own choices, teachers have to be the ones who help them see what’s going on and how to protect themselves.

  • Clay

    Lots of kids “instinctively know” that kids of the other gender are “icky”, that babies’ diapers are “gross”, that seeing two hetero, married adults kiss (closed-mouth) is “REALLY gross” that worms are yucky, and that unicorns and Superman are real. Should we take all of this as gospel too?

  • burrrobson

    Unfortunately that’s a typical and trite liberal reply. We can’t trust the citizens to do what is right their lives so government must step in and run all aspects. And unfortunately for the libs, it is blarney. People are smart. People can raise their kids. We are giving the government the right to act like Putin. Shame on lemmings like you Marci. We are a nation that was formed by capable and independent and responsible people. We are not sheeple. And we do not need worthless bureaucrats deciding when and how our children learn about sex. As far as I can see, with the growing population, we are doing quite well with the sexual act.