**Editor's Note: This story contains some details that are sexually explicit, discretion is advised**
KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- A former Boy Scout claims his former scout leader abused him for years, and at a civil trial, a judge agreed.
The judge issued a $100 million judgment against Scott Alan Bradshaw on Tuesday.
The victim in the case says it’s still difficult to visit the Liberty Memorial, a place where the victim says many of approximately 2,000 sexual abuse encounters took place. It has been almost 20 years since the abuse stopped, and the victim is still terribly affected by it, so FOX 4 agreed to hide his identity.
"I can't stand him, I wish this would have never happened to me," the victim told FOX 4’s Shannon O’Brien.
The “him” this victim refers to is Bradshaw, the man he says sexually abused him form the time this victim was 12 to 17 years old. The two met on a Boy Scout float trip, the victim a scout, Bradshaw a scout leader.
"(He) Starts talking about different things, your family, your hobbies, and then stated talking about sexual things,” the victim recalled.
He says the talk lasted for a while as Bradshaw gained the then 12-year-old boy’s trust, until one night at the victim’s house when the abuse began.
"He came on to me, he was actually at my house watching a movie, and then touching, and went downhill from there,” he said.
Downhill included Bradshaw using the victim as bait to pick up men, from cruising the Liberty Memorial, to a three-way sexual encounter with another scout at camp.
"I felt so trapped when this was happening, it's like someone is raping you all the time, and then it's like they are beating you up and then they are like, ‘oh, let me go do this for you,’ and then they are beating you up again and they go do this for you," the victim described.
The abuse stopped when the victim was 17, and his father found out.
"Scott made sure that my dad wasn’t around, and we were in my bedroom and my dad came home and walked in on it happening, and Scott just kept saying ‘I didn't do anything, I didn’t do anything, I didn't do anything.’ And then my dad kicked him out,” the victim said.
It has been a long road to recovery for this victim, who says the court acknowledging what was done to him was wrong helps a bit in his healing.
"It has ruined my life, it has mentally messed my brain completely up. I see a therapist all the time, I have tried to commit suicide at least 10 times, it's horrible and I know I am not the only person he has done this too,” the victim said.
Bradshaw’s judgment is civil, and he hasn’t been criminally charged in connection to the sexual abuse.
When the abuse was discovered, the victim says Bradshaw threatened the then 17-year- old boy. Still under his spell, the victim lied to authorities about what had been going on.
"He wanted me to tell everybody that when the social worker came to the house, that I initiated it three times at a park. He also told me that his wife was going to call me and ask me about it, and he wanted me to tell her the exact same thing,” the victim said.
The victim's lawyer says that story is one of the main reasons Bradshaw was never criminally charged at that time with sexually abusing this victim.
"I was actually scared for a really long time. I kept all of the evidence I possibly could and I put it in a box, and I tried not to think about it," he said.
After years of therapy, growth, and the realization that what happened to him was not his fault, this victim says he became strong enough to fight back.
"We will never forget it ever. I live it every day of my life. I wake up every night thinking about that son of a bitch,” the victim said.
The victim says he knows he will never get $100 million, but he hopes this judgement will prompt a criminal investigation.
The Boy Scouts of America was also once named as a defendant in this case, but it was released by the judge. The victim still says the organization should have protected him from this predator.